I’ll give you my instructor’s comments and please mention everything needed in my essay.
I provided the questions for my essay and my instructor’s comments.
1) Guiding Question:
As a response to the guiding question, where and how might the author expand or extend their exploration and supporting evidence for ideas?
It looks like you have several components from Project 1 here. Moving forward, I’d like to see more details from the research about these advances in technology. Remember that this project is the full essay, so perhaps take out some of the reflective aspects and just provide the research essay and source page for the final draft.
2) Evidence and Analysis:
Beyond including the required number of sources, how can the writer better connect ideas to evidence from sources and how can the writer better analyze or explain those connections?
Again, what key ideas are coming out of this research. Make that the focus of the essay. Not only do these key technologies exist, but that they are providing specific benefits in certain areas. I’d like to see that more clearly stated.
3) Questions and Suggestions:
Are there any interesting or unanswered questions the writer might expand on in the final draft? Do you have any other suggestions for what might be improved, explained, or better supported?
As noted, just making sure to transition this to a fully formed essay and less of an outline/plan. While you can use those ideas, the goal is to synthesize a new document from the research and your own ideas.
4) Project Requirements:
Are there any missing or unmet project requirements that the student must address before submitting their final draft?
In addition to any marks on the draft itself, see my notes above about focusing solely on completing the research essay itself and less on your planning methods.
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